I need a fix 'cause I'm going down

She held those hands, pressed them hard, held them as if letting go meant the most unbearable pain, nails being ripped off, nonstop vomiting, little pieces of glass slowly piercing arms and legs, knives runnig through the feet's sole, nothing would be worse then letting go. She had to losen her fingers, to her despair, after all, she was meant to go through hell like all sinners are. She went back by herself, crying all her past mistakes, regretting all the broken bones, broken steps, bronken bonds that would never heal, like she would never heal from letting go. That was just the logical consequence of walking away, the solitude of all the songs that you can't hear, all the colors you can't see and all the words you can't pronounce because: YOU ARE ALONE. And this insuperable condition was exactly what defined her, not who she once were, not who she was, not all she could ever be, the simple existence came down to two little words that nobody could spill out, otherwise the world would collapse in consciousness and they just couldn't let that happen. All they did was let her suffer such collapse, isolated, making it look like she suffered from a contagious illness so distressful that the mere gaze of her eyes were enough to make me sick.